Your Body Has Been Trying to Tell You!
Why your sleep, your dreams, and your gut already know what your head will not yet admit
Your head is the last to know
Here is a thing I have learned, doing this work, that I wish more people understood:
By the time your thinking brain is ready to admit something is wrong, your body has known for years.
The mind is brilliant. It is also a politician. It will spin, reframe, justify, minimize, and rationalize almost anything in order to keep the peace, hold the marriage together, keep the job, keep the family unit intact, keep the story it has been telling itself recognizable.
Your body has no such political career. Your body is a tax accountant. It writes everything down. Every small unkindness. Every time you swallowed what you wanted to say. Every night you went to sleep with a knot in your shoulder you could not explain. Every time you noticed yourself walking on eggshells without quite admitting that was what it was.
And eventually, when the file gets thick enough, the body files a complaint.
How the complaint shows up
It rarely arrives as a clear announcement. It arrives as a series of things that do not seem related, and that you might be telling yourself are just "getting older" or "a busy season" or "hormones":
Sleep that will not come, or that comes but does not restore.
Dreams that repeat — the same maze, the same lost vacation, the same can't-find-the-door, the same chase.
Digestion that goes sideways for no reason your doctor can identify.
A racing heart in the grocery store, at a stoplight, in the shower.
Fatigue that no amount of rest seems to touch.
Intimacy that you go through the motions of, but that your body has quietly stopped wanting.
A persistent sense, when you walk into your own house, that you cannot quite exhale.
None of these are personal failings. None of them mean you are broken. They are the body, doing its job, telling you that the situation you are in is not safe — emotionally, physically, energetically — and that some part of you has been keeping the score for a long time.
Dreams are not random
I want to spend a moment on dreams, because most people dismiss them — and people who should not dismiss them are sometimes the worst offenders.
Your dreams are your unconscious mind processing what your waking mind does not have time to. When you dream the same dream over and over — or variations on the same theme — your unconscious is essentially shouting up the stairs at you. "Are you hearing this? Are you hearing this?"
Recurring dreams about being lost. About not being able to find your room. About being on a vacation that does not feel like a vacation. About a partner who is suddenly nowhere to be found. About something attaching itself to you and not letting go. About being chased through a maze with no exit.
These are not, mostly, prophecies. They are reflections. They are your nervous system showing you, in pictures, what your day-to-day life is doing to you.
The good news: when you start listening to them — actually writing them down, actually asking yourself what each piece could mean — they often stop. Not because the problem has gone away, but because the message has been received.
What this means in practice
If you are reading this and recognizing yourself in any of the above, I want to offer three things you can do this week. None of them requires you to make a single big decision. None of them commits you to anything. They are just listening.
One: keep a dream journal for two weeks.
By the bed. A notebook and a pen. The moment you wake up — before you check the phone, before you get out of bed — write down anything you can remember, even if it is just a feeling or a fragment. Do not try to interpret. Just collect. At the end of two weeks, look at what is there. The patterns will tell you something.
Two: notice your body when you walk in your front door.
Just notice. Does your chest open or close? Do your shoulders drop or rise? Does your breath get easier or harder? Do not argue with what you notice. Do not try to fix it. Just notice. Your home, of any place in the world, should be the place your nervous system relaxes. If it is not, that is data.
Three: ask yourself one question, and answer honestly.
If a beloved friend — a sister, a daughter, a closest friend — described to you, exactly, the relationship you are currently in, what would you say to her? Would you congratulate her? Would you encourage her to hang in there? Would you ask her gently if she was okay? Would you tell her to leave?
Whatever you would say to her — that is also true for you. We are notoriously kinder to other people than to ourselves. But the truth is the same in both directions.
The body is on your side
The last thing I want to say is this. If your body is sending signals — even loud, uncomfortable, inconvenient signals — that is not a betrayal. That is loyalty.
Your body is the one part of you that does not have a stake in the story being kept the same. It does not care about appearances. It does not care what the neighbors think. It does not care about the years already invested. It cares about you — about the whole of you, the part that goes on long after any particular chapter ends.
It is trying to keep you alive, in every sense of that word.
The least we can do, when it speaks, is listen.
If you recognized yourself in any of this — if your body has been speaking to you and you are starting to listen — I offer a free 20-minute discovery call. No pressure, no obligation, just a conversation.
Q1: How do I know if my physical symptoms are caused by stress or something medical?
This is exactly the right question to ask, and the answer is: you do not, on your own, and you should not try. If you are experiencing new or worsening physical symptoms — sleep changes, digestive issues, heart palpitations, persistent fatigue, headaches, or anything else — your first stop is always your doctor. A medical workup rules out the things that need ruling out. Once your doctor has confirmed that your symptoms do not have an identifiable medical cause, you can then consider what role stress, unprocessed emotion, or nervous-system overload might be playing. The body can produce physical symptoms from emotional load. But that is only a fair consideration once medical causes have been ruled out by a qualified medical professional. Always start with the doctor.
Q2: Why do I keep having the same recurring dream?
Recurring dreams are your unconscious mind processing something your waking mind has not yet been able to fully address. The same dream returns because the message has not yet been received. The good news is that the moment you begin to take the dream seriously — by writing it down, by asking what each element might represent in your waking life, by sharing it with someone you trust — the dream often softens or stops. Not because the underlying issue has been resolved, but because the unconscious has registered that you are listening. A dream journal kept by the bed for two to three weeks is one of the simplest and most useful practices for understanding what your mind is working through at night.
Q3: I feel anxious when I walk into my own home. Is that normal?
It is common, but it is not what we should be aiming for. Your home, of any place in the world, should be the place your nervous system finally relaxes. If you find that your chest tightens, your shoulders rise, or you hold your breath when you walk through your own front door, your body is telling you that the environment is not currently safe for it to fully rest. This can have many causes — an ongoing conflict, a relationship that has become difficult, the accumulated weight of clutter or chaos, a household member whose presence is stressful, or simply the residue of years of carrying too much. Noticing it is the first step. Once you have noticed it, you can begin to ask why — and that is where the work begins.
Q4: What is the difference between hypnosis and meditation or mindfulness?
They are related but distinct practices. Meditation and mindfulness are typically self-directed — you sit quietly, observe your thoughts, and return your attention to a breath or an anchor. The goal is generally a settled, observing state of mind. Hypnosis, in a clinical setting, is guided by a trained practitioner and works with specific therapeutic intentions — for example, releasing a fear, processing a difficult memory, building a new pattern of response. Both involve a relaxed, focused state. The key differences are that hypnosis is goal-directed and externally guided, whereas meditation is open and self-guided. Many people benefit from both. They are not in competition. A skilled hypnotist will often teach a client self-hypnosis or simple mindfulness practices to use between sessions.
— Jill
Jill Lien is a Clinical Hypnotist, Master Relationship Coach, NLP Practitioner, and MEMI-certified practitioner based in Glasgow, Kentucky. She works with clients in person and worldwide via Zoom.